its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
