so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize