I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
