So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize