To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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