hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
