I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
