How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
