I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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