He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sorry my hands just texted you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
