she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
