i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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