My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
