Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is wine microwaveable?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
