Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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