I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
