I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
