Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
