you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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