i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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