making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
