where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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