i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize