We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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