I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
