At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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