Tell her she can't have a vagina
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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