What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
