I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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