Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
