I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
