So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want her autograph on my taint
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
