Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
