Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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