he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize