Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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