I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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