her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Come see our sink grown plant.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
