I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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