I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
They are going to name an STD after you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
