question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
