Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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