We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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