I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
