Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize