the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
