Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
