Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
