I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
