if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize