glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
