just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
