Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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