Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
