Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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