when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
