Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
