i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
