I think scott just propositioned me for sex
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
