i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
