Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
