He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
