Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
