you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
