theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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