You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
