There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
