no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
