i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
