my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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