It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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