i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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