Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
